Seven Weeks so far...

For some reason this last week, the seventh week (or wait, the eighth? Up until he was seven weeks old?) has been the hardest so far. Probably because Graham is waking up and not asleep constantly, and he's not showing any signs of sleeping longer stretches at night so Tommy and I are both pretty much exhausted. Really, I think it's been harder because I've tried to actually DO things, and accomplish stuff on my to-do list, and I should just know that that's not very realistic and is only going to end up in frustration. And, like horses who can sense fear, these two boys can sense the stress and exhaustion and frustration in the air, and try to push buttons and take advantage of our weakness. And really, I just mean Dane when I say "two boys," because LOOK AT THIS FACE:

He could never do anything naughty!

But then again, look at BOTH of these faces. This was totally not posed--Dane loves laying down next to Graham and "snuggling" with him and holding his hand. 

This is why we take pictures of them--so we can remember how cute they are after a long hard day and you are realizing tomorrow you have to go through it all again.

Bummer that this is blurry. Other than the hospital, this is the only family picture we've taken since Graham was born. PARENT FAIL! But we've taken tons of pictures of Graham himself, at least, so he's been totally documented so far. We'll get lots of family pictures at our family reunions this summer. For sure.

Matching boys!

He's a little Texan! Haha, only in Texas would they sell onesies with a map of the state on it. 

Graham is starting to really be interested in Dane--he tries to follow him with his eyes when Dane's bouncing around him. It's pretty darn cute.

Okay, he is so cute. I'm starting to forgive him for spending all weekend only napping in 30-minute spurts and being super grumpy. (Or maybe the grumpy one was just me... I can't remember exactly.)

The most exciting thing that happened recently is that Dane was handed down a TRIKE from some neighbors who are moving. The mom offered to give us this trike months ago, but we'd both kind of forgotten about it until she just dropped it by this week. And every single day since, as soon as Dane wakes up in the morning, the only thing he wants to do is to go ride his trike. And same thing when he wakes up from his nap. He refuses to learn how to pedal, so he just pushes himself along with his feet, but he sure thinks he's speeding along as it is and doesn't seem to mind, so we'll let him figure out the pedaling eventually. We've spent a good amount of time on our driveway and sidewalk this week letting Dane practice on his trike.

Super cute father and son.

We've got a new, fresh start this week, so I will try to keep us all happy this week. Phew!

Father-Son Campout

Last weekend, Tommy and Dane got to go to our ward father-son campout. I think I was more excited for them to go than either of them were--I just knew how much FUN Dane was going to have and I was practically giddy with thinking of how cute it was for them to be there together. Dane has been SUCH a trooper with all the adjusting we've all had to do around here, and he really deserved some serious one-on-one time with his dad and playtime with his friends at the campout. So Graham and I had a quiet evening here at home while they went camping. It has been SO rainy here all month, but despite the forecast, it was clear (almost) the whole time they went, and they didn't even come home totally muddy. 

This is how excited they were to go:

Dane is still trying to figure out how to do "thumbs up."

I told Dane, "I'll miss you so much! I'm going to cry the whole time you're gone!" and halfway to the campgrounds, he told Tommy, "Mommy's crying right now!"

Dane was in heaven the whole time. He spent all evening and all morning wandering around with the other two-year-old boys who were there, playing in the fields, playing soccer, and dragging around some really huge sticks.

Dane and his friend Liam.

Dane and Ben carrying an enormous stick together.

They both had their own little monkey chairs from Kroger.

After a long night in the tent--still smiling and happy! (This was inside the tent, which is why it's all pink.)

They had a blast. Tommy possibly got an even better night of sleep in the tent than he would have here--courtesy of Graham--and Dane seriously could not have been happier. There were a few meltdowns on Saturday because of how tired he was, but it was totally worth it. If only Tommy could bring Dane camping with him on the Scout campouts--Dane would be in heaven! Maybe in a few years that would be manageable... but as it is, this one time was a treat for them.

smiles

He smiled for the first time on Mother's Day (what a thoughtful Mother's Day present!), and he's been perfecting it ever since.

It's just too good!

good news!

So good news--this whole transition to two kids has been a lot better than I expected. Things are going really well. But right now, the babe is crying, so I can't write more, but here are a few pictures.

"I dig my dad" and "I dig mommy." So cute!

baby standard time

Having a baby is a good reminder of how little there is that I actually HAVE to do on a daily basis. Sometimes I get caught up in the goal of "being productive," and add things to my to-do list just for the sake of doing things. But you can't do that with two little friends needing you non-stop. 

I HAVE to make sure all of us are happy and healthy and fed. I don't really have to do anything else. Everything else isn't very important, and we'll work it out eventually.

That is all I am going to try to accomplish for the next few months. I will hold my baby a lot, read books with my toddler a lot, play outside (when it's not too hot), and at some point start exercising regularly again (and showering!). If I can do those things, we'll all be happy. And I have a freezer FULL of meals and food, so we'll all be fed. And maybe eventually we'll get back into doing other things too.

two kids.

I remember after Dane was born, after my mom had gone home and Tommy had headed back to school, I was shocked at how my time was all of a sudden GONE. I had just one tiny baby to take care of, but just one child was so demanding that I could barely find time to shower. (I did have plenty of time to read, though, being chained to a chair while nursing for seven hours a day.) That was a big adjustment--going from being childless, where all of my time was basically my own to do what I liked with it, to having no personal free time AT ALL. Even as he got a little older and napped for longer periods of time, I was always stressed out during his naps because I knew he could wake up at any moment (and he DID wake up plenty--I sometimes forget how he was such a bad napper for the first year of his life!). 

But then the last eighteen months or so, Dane and I have had a great routine. Dane got to the point where he played by himself while I showered and got ready in the morning. Such a luxury! He spends 2.5-3 hours in his crib every afternoon, usually napping but sometimes just talking to himself if he is boycotting his nap that day. So I have had my afternoons free to plan my classes or grade, read, blog, cook, or do WHATEVER I WANT TO DO. I totally got used to having a good amount of personal time again.

And it's looking like those days are long gone. I've had constant help the last two and a half weeks, with Tommy on paternity leave, my mom here for a week, and my mother-in-law here this week, and I still am struggling to take a shower. It's 3:36 and I'm still in my pajamas right now. This is a bad omen for what is yet to come--next week, once I am on my own (gulp). All of this thanks to these two little friends:

I know I will adjust to this new routine and new life with no more free time and two little demanding people, but I am kind of mourning the loss of the freedom I had with my one little happy toddler. 

But at the same time, I am depressed just thinking about how sad, sad, sad it is that this little boy will only be two and a half weeks once in his life. This window that you have with this tiny baby is just so small. I look at Graham and I keep remembering and reliving this same stage I was in with Dane, and I can't believe how much has happened since then, and how much Dane has grown. It makes me a lot more okay with the fact that I am not doing very much right now other than nursing and holding the baby and keeping my toddler as happy as I can. 

Because I remember now that this too shall pass, and I will be so sad once it is over! As President Uchtdorf says, "Life is not meant to be appreciated only in retrospect"--so I am appreciating this stage now.

Except I can't wait for Graham to start to smile. THEN life will be complete.

candy graham

Introducing: Graham Blake Leininger

Born April 4, 2015

7 lbs 9 oz, 19 1/4 inches long

We are so happy and in love with our new baby boy, born just over a week ago. We are tired but all of us are doing great. Graham has been very sleepy and sweet this past week--we are just waiting for him to wake up and rock our world even more. He is a champion eater and seems very patient and calm during many of his awake times. We feel so lucky to have him here and to have him be so healthy and strong. He has been very spoiled this week with someone holding him all the time--we'll see how things go the next weeks coming up!

Dane has been SUCH a cute big brother. He ran into the hospital room to see Graham for the first time and said, "My BABY BROTHER! Can I hold him? Can I hold my baby brother? HI BABY BROTHER!" And he hasn't stopped being excited since. He only wants to refer to him as "baby brudder" and asks to hold him about 25 times a day. After his nap today, he came out and ran over to Graham and said, "Baby brudder, I came back! I woked up to see you!" It makes me so happy that he's so in love with his brother. They're going to be best friends.

Tommy went and got balloons for Graham and Dane the day we came home from the hospital. Dane loves trying to share it with Graham and make sure he's truly appreciating his balloon.

The last picture of us as a family of three:

The first picture of us as a family of four:

We've been lucky this last week with my mom visiting and taking care of us. Tommy has been on paternity leave this week and will be this upcoming week, and then his mom will be here visiting and helping us out the week after. So we are feeling spoiled with a few weeks worth of help! I know it will be a rough adjustment after that, but I am feeling optimistic. We love our two boys and can't wait to see Graham grow and get to know him.