baby standard time

Having a baby is a good reminder of how little there is that I actually HAVE to do on a daily basis. Sometimes I get caught up in the goal of "being productive," and add things to my to-do list just for the sake of doing things. But you can't do that with two little friends needing you non-stop. 

I HAVE to make sure all of us are happy and healthy and fed. I don't really have to do anything else. Everything else isn't very important, and we'll work it out eventually.

That is all I am going to try to accomplish for the next few months. I will hold my baby a lot, read books with my toddler a lot, play outside (when it's not too hot), and at some point start exercising regularly again (and showering!). If I can do those things, we'll all be happy. And I have a freezer FULL of meals and food, so we'll all be fed. And maybe eventually we'll get back into doing other things too.

two kids.

I remember after Dane was born, after my mom had gone home and Tommy had headed back to school, I was shocked at how my time was all of a sudden GONE. I had just one tiny baby to take care of, but just one child was so demanding that I could barely find time to shower. (I did have plenty of time to read, though, being chained to a chair while nursing for seven hours a day.) That was a big adjustment--going from being childless, where all of my time was basically my own to do what I liked with it, to having no personal free time AT ALL. Even as he got a little older and napped for longer periods of time, I was always stressed out during his naps because I knew he could wake up at any moment (and he DID wake up plenty--I sometimes forget how he was such a bad napper for the first year of his life!). 

But then the last eighteen months or so, Dane and I have had a great routine. Dane got to the point where he played by himself while I showered and got ready in the morning. Such a luxury! He spends 2.5-3 hours in his crib every afternoon, usually napping but sometimes just talking to himself if he is boycotting his nap that day. So I have had my afternoons free to plan my classes or grade, read, blog, cook, or do WHATEVER I WANT TO DO. I totally got used to having a good amount of personal time again.

And it's looking like those days are long gone. I've had constant help the last two and a half weeks, with Tommy on paternity leave, my mom here for a week, and my mother-in-law here this week, and I still am struggling to take a shower. It's 3:36 and I'm still in my pajamas right now. This is a bad omen for what is yet to come--next week, once I am on my own (gulp). All of this thanks to these two little friends:

I know I will adjust to this new routine and new life with no more free time and two little demanding people, but I am kind of mourning the loss of the freedom I had with my one little happy toddler. 

But at the same time, I am depressed just thinking about how sad, sad, sad it is that this little boy will only be two and a half weeks once in his life. This window that you have with this tiny baby is just so small. I look at Graham and I keep remembering and reliving this same stage I was in with Dane, and I can't believe how much has happened since then, and how much Dane has grown. It makes me a lot more okay with the fact that I am not doing very much right now other than nursing and holding the baby and keeping my toddler as happy as I can. 

Because I remember now that this too shall pass, and I will be so sad once it is over! As President Uchtdorf says, "Life is not meant to be appreciated only in retrospect"--so I am appreciating this stage now.

Except I can't wait for Graham to start to smile. THEN life will be complete.

candy graham

Introducing: Graham Blake Leininger

Born April 4, 2015

7 lbs 9 oz, 19 1/4 inches long

We are so happy and in love with our new baby boy, born just over a week ago. We are tired but all of us are doing great. Graham has been very sleepy and sweet this past week--we are just waiting for him to wake up and rock our world even more. He is a champion eater and seems very patient and calm during many of his awake times. We feel so lucky to have him here and to have him be so healthy and strong. He has been very spoiled this week with someone holding him all the time--we'll see how things go the next weeks coming up!

Dane has been SUCH a cute big brother. He ran into the hospital room to see Graham for the first time and said, "My BABY BROTHER! Can I hold him? Can I hold my baby brother? HI BABY BROTHER!" And he hasn't stopped being excited since. He only wants to refer to him as "baby brudder" and asks to hold him about 25 times a day. After his nap today, he came out and ran over to Graham and said, "Baby brudder, I came back! I woked up to see you!" It makes me so happy that he's so in love with his brother. They're going to be best friends.

Tommy went and got balloons for Graham and Dane the day we came home from the hospital. Dane loves trying to share it with Graham and make sure he's truly appreciating his balloon.

The last picture of us as a family of three:

The first picture of us as a family of four:

We've been lucky this last week with my mom visiting and taking care of us. Tommy has been on paternity leave this week and will be this upcoming week, and then his mom will be here visiting and helping us out the week after. So we are feeling spoiled with a few weeks worth of help! I know it will be a rough adjustment after that, but I am feeling optimistic. We love our two boys and can't wait to see Graham grow and get to know him.