prop 8

i don't usually write about things like this on this blog. i don't usually want people to take me seriously (eg, the blog title, no capitalizing, etc.). but now i'm going to school at a non-lds university, and the topic of gay marriage comes up weekly, and i sit trembling every time in case a pointed jab comes up that i have to respond to, knowing that i am the only person from california, the only person who voted on prop 8, and probably the only person who would have voted (and did vote) for it. i figured i needed to write this down (so i could know what i thought and so that i could be like my good friend sarah, who wrote about this a while ago and has made me think about it ever since). and something like this, in order to be honest, needs an audience. i'm not writing this to try and convince anyone that i'm right, though--don't take it that way. this is for me to establish what i believe, for myself and for anyone who cares. so you know, any responses (positive or negative) will be appreciated. as long as they're not hating.

it's been plaguing me for months. really, ever since we moved out of happyland provo and into the real world (like i'd been wanting to for months and years). i knew it was going to come up eventually (and again and again)--and i didn't know how to explain it. how can you explain the church's standpoint on gay marriage to a non-religious person, or to someone who stands squarely against you, firmly convinced that they're right and you're wrong? and personally, i haven't always been convinced that i'm right. i still don't even know. i've always been bad at taking responsibility for my political beliefs because i never think i'm informed enough and could never withstand close questioning or attacking. and this issue is particularly difficult for me for a number of reasons. i've ignored and avoided, protested and deliberated, and finally pondered. this resolution is not a matter of blind submission on an issue i know nothing about, but a conscious decision balanced on my intellectual beliefs and faith.

but as far as i can tell and as far as i believe, my views on the issue (not saying that this is the whole LDS church's view) stand like this: like the proclamation on the family says, marriage is ordained between a man and a woman. God created us, his children, to procreate and have families--and that can only happen between a man and a woman. i don't know why there are people who are gay, lesbian, bi, or transsexual. i know that a huge part of this issue is whether queer people choose their sexuality or whether they come out that way--i don't have the answer to that and i'm not going to try. however, it remains that in the scriptures and in modern revelation from our prophets and apostles, homosexuality is a sin and against the commandments of God. and, like in nephite times in the book of mormon, we need to guard against the laws of our country becoming corrupted and condoning sin (helaman 5:2). so, as a church, and for me as an individual, we voted to keep the definition of marriage as being solely between a man and a woman.

i am well aware that such an argument would hold little water with someone who is not religious, and that it would infuriate and convince others that i am as full of hatred towards gay people as some of those horrible, evil, twisted people who protest at gay soldiers' funerals. but it's simply not true--i absolutely do not hate any group of people, especially one who is so unfairly maligned as this one. i don't want to deny anybody the chance of the happiness that marriage brings and i don't find joy in the trials that LGBT people have in attaining the same goals that i have. it hurts and sickens me to have to make this distinction. (that's why it's taken me so long, really.)

but as much as i firmly believe in equal rights for everyone, and as much as it hurts to be classed with the ignorant bigots who hate LGBT people and who would define them as a lower class of people, i also believe in revelation from our prophet today. i believe that this issue is so difficult because it is so important--the LDS leaders would not have spoken out about such a political issue if it weren't. as tommy said the other day as we were discussing this, if we (as mormons) really believe that our church is the one true church on the earth, led by God's one mouthpiece, isn't that really all we need to know? (although, disclaimer: i don't think that should be an excuse to follow blindly without deciding what you believe for yourself.)

so i've really decided which side i'm going to stand on. finally.


edit: kylie sent me this link to the church's response to the human rights campaign after elder packer's talk at gc. it is awesome. and says a lot of what i was trying to say as well.