Let It Go

This is probably going to be a really obvious statement to all of my parent/grandparent readers, but I have learned something: I think a major part of parenting is learning to let it go. Let EVERYTHING go. Only pick your battles about the most important, significant things, and stop trying to control everything. 

I have a hard time with this sometimes. When Dane was a baby, he would only nap for 20-30 minutes at a time almost every nap. And I would get completely INCENSED. I would rage into my pillow and think angry thoughts about WHY WHY WHY I couldn't get a break for longer than 20 minutes! (And send many angry texts to Tommy.) As he got older he became a much better napper, but on those days he would keep himself awake and not sleep, I would still get really mad and try to force him to nap, by sitting in his room and shushing him until he fell asleep or chastising him after not napping, like he really got what he was doing. I know all of these things make me sound super immature and like a super great mom, but it was a huge deal for me to get a break at naptime. And it was something I wanted to be able to control.

And luckily, I have gotten WAY WAY better about this three years into it. I still get frustrated when the boys don't nap well (and now that there are two of them it's definitely worse) but it's not even close to the same level of frustration--and I've stopped trying to force Dane to nap. For one, he's getting close to being too old for it. But for another, and more importantly, I have let myself stop stressing about it. It doesn't matter. He will survive the day without a nap. I will survive the day without a nap. And so will Graham. I feel much happier when I am more successful at letting this go.

The issue that we have been dealing with lately is Dane's clothes. He wants to wear his "running clothes" every single day (two athletic outfits he got from Costco) and when they are not clean, he throws major fits and begs, begs, begs me to wash them. It's gotten to the point that I get frustrated when he just brings it up AT ALL. If he's not begging for his running clothes, he's begging to wear shorts and flipflops in the 30- and 40-degree weather we've been having and screaming at me because he doesn't want to wear his jacket. It's hard to even IMAGINE, but it's true. And I'm trying to be in charge of what he wears because I want him to be warm, but also, mostly, to be honest, it's because I want him to wear different clothes than the same 3 outfits over and over again. I want to control his clothes. And guess what? The time for that has now passed. 

I have to LET IT GO and let him do what he wants. It doesn't really matter what he wears. It's not cold enough here that he's going to freeze to death with his shorts on (which he keeps finding no matter how many times I pack them away). And I don't actually care! It doesn't affect me at all. I am giving myself permission to let it go. 

The red running shorts in the top picture and the blue running clothes here are the worst offenders.

I think I need to figure out what our constant points of tension are, and figure out how I can let those go. And I bet I could let other things go to make my life easier. I could probably write a really lyrical metaphor about how letting things go relates to life and try to use my mostly-defunct writing skills, but I've kind of let that go too. I feel lighter and easier already!