sickies and mopeys

There are a few things that people tell you before you have kids that you just cannot really fathom or understand before you actually go through it yourself.

People told me, "Church is so hard when you have kids." And I thought I got that when I taught Sunbeams, with the tired and whiny and fidgety (and cute) kids who didn't want to sit in their chairs or stay in Primary. Guess what? NOT THE SAME. Church is exponentially worse when you're the parent, even of just one very tired and cranky one-year-old. I don't really have to explain this because anyone who goes to church knows just what I'm talking about: three hours, ALWAYS during nap time, expectations of quiet and sitting still. (Obviously, I am thinking about this because it is a Sunday and we just had a wonderful long day at church.)

Despite how hard Dane is at church, he was very helpful when Tommy went to clean the church on Saturday and sat in this cute hiking backpack the whole time and just had this big grin on his face. HE LOVES SERVICE.

I remember hearing, "Winter is hard because the kids get sick over and over again." But NEVER was I prepared for how ridiculously frustrating it is to have your child have a non-stop runny nose for months and to get one cold after another and for their naps and eating to be disrupted again and again because they can't stop coughing or because they're too uncomfortable or sick to sleep. How hard it is to handle not just days, but WEEKS of fussiness and no napping, and then a few days of health before you delve into yet another cold. And then how hard it is to know your poor baby is sick and sad at the same time that you are trying to not allow yourself get more and more frustrated with him. WINTER NEEDS TO BE OVER and it's still January.

I was taking this picture on my phone to send to Tommy to show him Dane's cute outfit, but just look how sad and tired he looks. He was so lethargic and exhausted and sick this day.

And... okay, people said lots of things. And really, I just kind of wanted to complain after a long hard week with a sick and whiny baby who has insisted on waking up in the 5s the last three days in a row. Weeks like this are so, so hard for me to control my temper and stay focused on the good thoughts, like "I love this baby more than anything" and "I really am grateful I can take care of him when he's sick instead of someone else." Because those good thoughts really are my priorities right now, and are much more important than the temporary frustrations that come from dealing with a toddler day to day--and I guess that's my job, to learn how to remember those priorities and make those my everyday focus, even on the long days. (And yeah, I am not very good at it right now.)

So, I'll just say it: I love my baby more than anything and I really am grateful I can take care of him when he's sick instead of someone else. This is my mantra for this week and WE WILL SURVIVE.

Sitting and watching a few minutes of Rio after giving him a haircut. He is such a cutie.