I've thought about this a lot. I wrote this post three years ago, and my thoughts have evolved over time (but probably not that much). But it seems like whenever women in the LDS church talk about getting a college degree, the main reason why they do it is because "just in case." "Just in case" my husband dies or we get divorced, "just in case" he loses his job, "just in case" we can't make ends meet. And while I can't really argue with any motivation that gets people to continue their educations, this emphasis on only getting your education so that you "help out" when your Plan A goals of staying at home with your kids falls through bothers me. It's always bothered me. It reeks of gender stereotyping and limiting expectations for both men and women.
It really all goes back to what you think the point of an education is. If an education is really ONLY to help you get a job so that you can make money to have a nice lifestyle and support your kids, then I guess the "just in case" justification makes sense when you're planning on staying at home with said kids. (Not that everyone is, in which case the whole "just in case" argument doesn't make sense anyways. But that's a whole other problem with this argument: why should people assume you're going to stay home anyway? It is and should be your own choice, and though many LDS women choose to stay home, many do not or cannot. But I digress.)
But is that really all an education is? Is that why we are encouraged to "seek . . . out of the best books words of wisdom"?
In my mind, the answer to that is a resounding NO. A contemporary college education may be the ticket to a future paycheck for most people, but it's also our best chance to be taught by experts in their fields, to learn how to learn, to focus specifically on growing intellectually and spiritually instead of on just the mundane necessities of life.* As a student, it only takes a small amount of self-reflection to recognize what your strengths and priorities and passions are--whereas later in life the opportunities to appreciate those may be less apparent. Getting an education should stretch your mind in ways that will help you to become a better version of yourself in the future--more interested in things outside yourself, more appreciative of other people and places, more able to decide and declare your own thoughts, more desirous to use your talents for others' good.
I married Tommy one year before graduating with my bachelor's degree at BYU. We spent our first six months of marriage applying to graduate schools together, him for his PhD and me for my MA. And you know what? I hated doing that MA. I was burned out on school and tired of classes and theoretical discussions. But I learned some really important things about myself during those two years: that I do have subjects of study I'm interested in and might eventually wish to pursue more (like religion and education, hmmm), that I liked teaching college students, and that I was ready to have a baby and that I wanted to stay home with him. (I would definitely not have figured out the first two without that time, and it might have taken longer for me to figure out the last one.) And I got really, really good at writing while I was doing it (sure, mostly academic papers, but it's got to transfer to real life in some way).
Now I'm staying at home with my boy, and I'm really happy doing it.
Sure, it's nice that having an MA makes my BA in English a smidge more
marketable, "just in case," but that isn't why I did it, and that isn't why I'm glad I did it. And even though I hated it, I am glad I did it. I'm PROUD of myself for doing it. Whenever I tell someone that I got my master's, I feel a little bit of pride well up inside of me, because I did something that not many people do and it took a whole lot of work. It was something that I accomplished and I did it for me, and I will always be able to know that. And I am a different person now than I would have been had I done something else for two years.
Of course I don't believe that everyone needs to do what I did. But I think that women (and education) are being devalued when they're told they should get an education "just in case." Education is just as valuable for LDS women planning on staying home as it is for anyone else in the workforce and in the Church.
*I get that this argument isn't going to overcome the monetary reasons for getting an education. You've got to feed yourself. And if that's enough to keep people going to college, then that's fine with me. But I just wanted to get this out there.
6 comments:
Aaaamen. And heaven forbid that a girl studies engineering simply because she finds it interesting, not because she wants a job.
Very thoughtful post. I agree with you. I also feel is it a great accomplishment that you got your masters. I wanted to and still want to (someday, at this point) go back to school. But after graduating I couldn't figure out what I liked enough to go into debt for, since we were poor and didn't have money saved for grad school. But I totally hear you...it's a lot more than "just in case". It's about bettering yourself, etc.
Great thoughts. I do feel strongly that getting an education doesn't have to take the traditional and expensive route. There are tons of things I want to learn to do and experience just for the sake of living life post-BA. My education did not end with my bachelor's degree. I do wish however that America patterned its universities a little differently. We no longer live in an age where a bachelor degree is an automatic pass for a good job (says the Art History major). I feel a lot of women lean towards degrees in english, humanities, and history without any real world application or purpose post graduation except that it's 'just in case'. Then if they ever have to cash in on their expensive schooling they find the only job they're qualified for is administrative assistant (personal experience and observation.). It's a good job, but not so much a career you dream about having. I guess what I'm saying is an MA possibly gives women the ability to focus on a more specific career.
Sorry! I could write my own post about this! Ha. I think you're brilliant for achieving an MA. Its very admirable.
So, so true, Diana. I wasn't trying to argue that traditional "college" is the only/best way to go (although it totally sounded like it). And of course there is such a conflict with majoring in the humanities--do I do something I like, or something I'll make money at? Which is depressing and awful and all-too-true. I just feel like only getting an education because you might need it to make money someday is totally missing a lot of the other important reasons why an education (of any kind) is important.
Love this post, Alyse. I agree it's awesome that you worked so hard and received your MA degree. And I agree with your statement about the other reasons to get an education - helping others, growing as a person, etc. So true. I find that as I get older, my interests and talents shift. I hope I can follow these shifts and continue to learn throughout my life (not only in the formal degree-seeking way, but in many ways). Continuing to learn and expand our skills is a healthy way to live, a healthy way to parent. Admittedly, this can be difficult with small kiddos around, as my brain seems to turn to mush at least part of the day...hoping that will get better as the years get higher.
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