morbid.

i have a morbid imagination. it stinks.

it's not rational. usually i think of these things when my mind is at its least busy, such as when i was in my ninth grade science class or, more recently, driving to and from school. it's awful--sometimes i'll get so worked up about it i'll be teary-eyed with fear of my imaginings coming true.

the most common one is that i always imagine getting a phone call from an unrecognizable number and hearing 911 tell me that [insert loved one here] is in the hospital after a horrible car crash.

sometimes i'll imagine someone breaking into our apartment when i'm alone and having to stave them off with nothing but our extra-heavy frying pans.

one time i watched this freak-documentary thing about people who did horrible things while they sleepwalked, like killing their family members, and didn't remember it in the morning. that gives me a lot of morbid-imagination time.

i'm always slightly nervous being in the bathroom when the shower curtain is closed, because what if someone is hiding behind it?

seriously. what is wrong with me?

the LION KING

we went and saw the lion king at the dpac (durham performing arts center) last night. goodness, it was fun. the play is so colorful and . . . big. i want to be IN it.

this was my favorite new song from the play. apparently it's in the lion king 2, but i don't remember that movie at all. but it's so good!

(and my glory, how can i have missed the HUGE gospel applications in this story? jeez. the whole rafiki/reflection thing? this "he lives in me" song? i can't wait to hear a sacrament meeting talk incorporating this someday.)

good things as of late

-having clean sheets on our bed (thank you tommy)

-taking an evening bath, which makes me a lot less cranky

-listening to huckleberry finn as i drive back and forth to school

-being done with my all-day saturday workshops for class (i had two of them. what a waste of time.)

-visiting all of our new sunbeams and getting to know them and their parents this weekend

-watching seven brides for seven brothers with tommy (one of his favorites) and now having "BLESS YOUR BEAUTIFUL HIDE!" ringing in my mind constantly

and...

-the teacher i TA for said i was "fantastic!" at leading class discussion. apparently i have hope for being a teacher yet.

some days you just need a reminder of the good things, you know?

i heretofore declare

that henceforth nobody is allowed to write checks in line at the grocery store to pay for their food.

GET A DEBIT CARD.

have i mentioned?

the next big thing we're thinking about in the leininger household is a trip to visit two of our favorite countries:

can you guess?

why yes. this summer we are planning on traveling to iceland and denmark for a few weeks.

why, you ask?

why not, we ask?

okay, there's more reason behind it than that. lindsay and travis, and mayah, asher, leif, and joel (tommy's sister and fam) are moving to denmark in august for a two-year stay. tommy conveniently speaks the language, lived in copenhagen, and loves the country, so we volunteered to go along and help them out with their four little ones and their international move. and we figured that we couldn't go that close to iceland without actually going there. i might get kicked out of the myres family if we didn't go. (have i mentioned how we love iceland? oh yes. i have.)

we figured that even though we don't really have the money now, we'll never have the money. so we're going to go while we have the time and enjoy ourselves. and we are so excited!

embracing mediocrity

i'm in a bunch of classes with phd students. it's funny to listen to them and hear how stressed they are, saying "what is free time, anyways?" and trying to schedule their comprehensive exams and write their dissertations all at the same time. they wonder about how they're going to publish and be accepted to conferences and how that will help them get the jobs they want at a top-tier research university.

meanwhile, i'm sitting there, feeling pretty good about myself. because although i don't know what job i want after i graduate, i don't really care. i have passed the point where my grades matter. if i present at a conference (like i will be in february--but it's just at my school, so nothing very interesting) then it's an extra bonus, not something to worry about or stress over. i figure that i'll teach freshman writing after i graduate--and i don't even care if i don't get a full-time position like everyone in my program stresses about. DON'T EVEN CARE!

i've never really been in the position where i wasn't trying as hard as the next person to do well. or where i didn't have goals that were at least as high as theirs (at least, academically). but that's where i am now.

and i kind of like it. i am fully satisfied with graduating with as good of grades as i can get and doing nothing spectacular in the field of rhetoric and composition before or after i graduate.

i think i've come a long way.



but, p.s. my classes are looking far more promising than last semester. i am very much more happy about this semester. great news!

also, i'm learning html, and css, and xml, and a billion other languages and things (that i don't know what they're called) for a class this semester. can you tell? cue the hopefully many changes on this blog so i can practice my newfound skillz.

song of the week

blinded by the light by mannfred mann's earth band.



(don't worry, for those of you who don't know the lyrics, it says "revved up like a deuce," not what you think it says.)

there is a long kind of random section but that just makes you appreciate the really good parts, right?

we're just a little bit obsessed over here.


blinded by the light!