embracing mediocrity

i'm in a bunch of classes with phd students. it's funny to listen to them and hear how stressed they are, saying "what is free time, anyways?" and trying to schedule their comprehensive exams and write their dissertations all at the same time. they wonder about how they're going to publish and be accepted to conferences and how that will help them get the jobs they want at a top-tier research university.

meanwhile, i'm sitting there, feeling pretty good about myself. because although i don't know what job i want after i graduate, i don't really care. i have passed the point where my grades matter. if i present at a conference (like i will be in february--but it's just at my school, so nothing very interesting) then it's an extra bonus, not something to worry about or stress over. i figure that i'll teach freshman writing after i graduate--and i don't even care if i don't get a full-time position like everyone in my program stresses about. DON'T EVEN CARE!

i've never really been in the position where i wasn't trying as hard as the next person to do well. or where i didn't have goals that were at least as high as theirs (at least, academically). but that's where i am now.

and i kind of like it. i am fully satisfied with graduating with as good of grades as i can get and doing nothing spectacular in the field of rhetoric and composition before or after i graduate.

i think i've come a long way.



but, p.s. my classes are looking far more promising than last semester. i am very much more happy about this semester. great news!

also, i'm learning html, and css, and xml, and a billion other languages and things (that i don't know what they're called) for a class this semester. can you tell? cue the hopefully many changes on this blog so i can practice my newfound skillz.