like/dislike

you know what i really dislike? people who ride unicycles on campus.

[annalise said i needed more pictures, so here we go]

seriously? GET A BIKE!

you know what i really like? this song. it reminds me of groundhog day and just generally improves my day:



that's all for today.

feminist.

i've been thinking a lot about this lately. clearly.

as a kid, i never doubted that i was allowed and encouraged to become whatever i wanted to be. i always felt like i was capable of doing anything. if i wanted to be a doctor, i could. if i wanted to wanted to be a stay at home mom, i could. i always knew i had the choice and that i should do what i wanted to do. i never felt restricted in my options because i was a girl instead of a boy. it was never a question in my mind that i was equal to the boys that were in my classes--i might not be able to beat them in the northwood jog-a-thon, but i for sure could beat them in a spelling test or our next math quiz. i'm really grateful to my parents for always fostering that self-confidence in me, because since i've moved away from home i've met too many women who never had that knowledge given to them.

so i've always thought that women are equal to men. this doesn't seem quite that radical to me. i recently read feminism defined this way: "if you believe in, support, look fondly on, hope for, and/or work towards equality of the sexes, you are a feminist." this actually seems quite logical to me--i strongly believe that this is true. and i think this goes right along with the doctrine of the church. we are all sons and daughters of our Heavenly Father, and i have a hard time believing that He would favor his sons over his daughters. or vice versa.

so i guess i'm a feminist, and i like that.

but i mean, seriously, why shouldn't men and women be equal? we may be different, but we are quite capable of doing (almost) all of the same things (excluding birthing babies and other specifically physiological abilities). it seems strange to me that people today would disagree with this idea. and i don't think a lot of people today would, at least out loud or consciously.

but too many people at byu, both men and women, don't actually believe that. too many girls come to byu saying they want to go to college but actually just wanting to get married as soon as they can so that they don't have to actually work for themselves after they graduate. too many guys expect the girls to feel that way and get offended when they don't. it's okay if you feel that way--but not if you force it on other people who don't.

i've had people tell me that they thought it was a waste of time and money for me to go on to graduate school, that i should just get some kind of job to pay for tommy's grad school. because i'm a girl. (don't worry, tommy doesn't think that. at all.) i've had someone else tell me how he broke up with his girlfriend because she wanted to get a phd. because she's a girl. i have a great lds friend who's going to usc, who's cute and funny and spiritual and downright amazing, and the lds boys there don't date her. because she wants to be a doctor. and she's a girl, so who wants to support their wife going through med school? a girl in my english class had her advisor (a man) say to her, when she signed up for the english major, "oh, so what are you going to do? be a mom?"

because she's a girl. so what else could she want to do?

this is not okay. this is unfair and unjust and wrong. maybe she does want to be a mom. but how can you limit her to only one role? when a boy applies to a major at byu, i guarantee you no one, no one in the history of BYU, has ever asked, "oh, what are you going to do? be a dad?" if men and women are equal, then shouldn't women be able to go to graduate school without that kind of response? shouldn't people be celebrating that women want to go to graduate school and that they can go to graduate school? we aren't forced into doing anything we don't want to unless we limit ourselves. shouldn't people be celebrating that we have options?

i think they should. i'm not saying that all women need to go to grad school--people should be able to do what's right for them. and if it is more school or working or staying at home or all of the above at the same time--more power to you. i'm just grateful i live in a time when i can choose all of the above--because i want to get more school. and work. and be a mom. i want to do everything. so i'm going to try.

thank you.

my mom posted this on our family blog and i thought i would share as well. cole wrote this around christmastime, as his christmas gift to all of us. tommy really appreciated the compliment to his dancing skillz.

Dear Family,
Thank you for being part of my family. My life wouldn't be complete without you.
Dad, you are the most phenomenal dad I will ever have! You are a magnificent barbequer and an outstanding bishop.
Mom, you are the best mom ever! You are a great home-maker an an unbelievable cook!
Tommy, you are the nicest brother-in-law an eight-year-old would want! You are a great dancer and a kind human being.
Alyse, you are the happiest sister ever. You are a fabulous runner and a fantastic reader!
Camille, you are the funniest sister ever! You are a good straight-face contest contestant and a great comedian.
Austin, you are a nice person and a wonderful volleyball player. You are very athletic.
Dallin, you are the funniest brother ever. You are a super basketball player and a skilled artist.
Bethany, you are the best reader ever! You are a silly comedian too and a smart sister.
I love all of you and Merry Christmas!
Love, Cole




also, tommy and i got to babysit little joey, our neighbor, on saturday. we L-O-V-E him. he was fascinated by tommy's photobooth thing on his computer. it was hilarious. i really just wanted to post a picture of him because he's so dang cute:

seriously elise, we're just a little bit obsessed with him. thanks for sharing him with us for a few hours.

choir people

yesterday, while sitting with university chorale in the marriott center before the devotional, the girl next to me turned to me and asked,

"do they ever play any sports in here?"

yes, she did. annddd she was serious.

2 am

it's 2 am and i'm writing a proposal for my biggest paper of the semester that's due in seven hours and i just realized i don't actually have a thesis statement.

and i think i'm going crazy. i'm thinking about other things instead of actually developing a thesis statement, like:

-this was one of the best weekends that i've had in a while.
-why on earth would anyone not get an epidural when they're birthing a child?
-i still haven't seen the episode where pam and jim get married.
-i really want to watch hercules, robin hood, and prince of egypt. classics.
-it was probably a bad decision to write a paper analyzing mormon mommy blogs. now i can justify reading blogs as gathering research.
-this is probably only going to get harder in grad school. dang.

junk email

here's a confession: i HATE junk email. junk email meaning any email that isn't actually meant for me; it's a forward or an ad. whether it comes from payless shoes or a relative. i just don't like having random things unnecessarily cluttering up my inbox. and it makes me a mean and horrible person, like i'm about to prove to you.

the worst offender at sending out junk email is the editing department. i get at least six emails a day from them with worthless unpaid editing internships and offers from random ladies who wrote their own "pseudo-electro-psycho-fantasy vampire novel" and will offer "experience" to any student who will edit it for free. phyllis daniel, the editing department secretary, whose name appears as the sender of all of these emails, has long been on my "delete immediately" list.

but today was the last straw. phyllis got a bit email trigger happy this morning. she sent out her average three or four morning internship emails, accompanied by another email advertising a random indian man who is coming to speak on campus. an event that has nothing to do with editing, just a random lecture by a random, probably very intelligent and nice but not-interesting-to-me guy.

that was it.

so i responded saying this (it's unedited, so you can see how spiteful i am over such unimportant things):

"Why are we receiving this information? This has nothing to do with the editing minor and therefore should not be sent to us by the editing department. I feel like this is an abuse of power to be able to send out so many unimportant emails."

a few minutes later, she emailed me this back:

"I am sorry, I thought it would be something that might be interesting to you. I can take you off the email list if you would like."

whoa--phyllis is actually a person! and she was reasonable! i immediately felt like a bad and horrible person for questioning her authority to send out useless, unimportant emails to all the editing minors. i just said back:

"That would actually be great. Thank you."


and then six minutes later she sent me another two emails about more useless editing internships. i stopped feeling bad.

it's official

tommy and i know where we're going to be next year! after months and months of planning and hoping and waiting and thinking, we can finally say that . . .

come august, we're going to be moving to NORTH CAROLINA! tommy's going to be getting his phd at duke and i'm going for my master's at nc state, just a short 25-30 minute drive down the road. we're going to be there for four years, at least.

yes, duke was tommy's first choice and yes, he is ridiculously smart. yes, we are so lucky to have gotten into schools near each other like this. and yes, we are oh, so excited. a true blue new adventure that i can't wait to experience.

hello, deep-fried foods.
hello, people who aren't lds.
hello, duke basketball.
hello, living on the east coast(ish).
hello, north carolina. we can't wait to meet you.



p.s. also, tommy and i finished the crossword today. with minimal help from google (who REALLY knows howard from ghostbuster's last name?). i felt accomplished and i can feel the alzheimer's receding from my brain already.