Funny quotes from the boys lately

For the last few months, I've been keeping notes on my phone of funny things the boys say. I know I've missed a ton of them, but I'm glad I've been doing it. I know we've forgotten hundreds of hilarious things they've said over the years, but I need to be better about writing them down. I thought I'd share them for the grandparents/Bethany to enjoy.

Dane: It's okay if Graham watches me going to the bathroom because he will always be my valentine.


Graham: I’m as full as a GIANT! (After eating three bites every meal.)


Dane: I NEVER sleep!


Dane: Good, it’s morning. I just got my muscles back. (He explained that at night his muscles go away and they come back in the morning)


Me: Graham, you’re so big!
Graham: And cute!


Graham on Halloween: I’m a cute waffle!


Graham: you leave the pumpkin lights on?
Me: for five minutes.
Graham: how bout hundred minutes?


Graham, seeing a brown UPS delivery truck: There’s a poo poo bus!


Graham, while I was changing his diaper: I won’t put my foot in the poop. If I put my foot in the poop, I should die!


Me: Oh no, they’re out of pizza!

Graham: Aw, nuts!


Dane: Mom, are you thinking what I’m thinking?
Me: What are you thinking?
Dane: I’m thinking we should fine some boxes and draw pictures of Jesus being born!


Graham (different times, all in one day): I hate temples! I hate going to church! I like hitting Maddie!


Dane: Dad, feel how hot my tongue is.

Tommy: Um, no thanks.


Graham: Bye bye poopy diaper!
Me: Oh, that diaper wasn’t poopy. It just had peepee in it.
Graham: Yeah, and I shoot poopoo at bad guys!!!


Dane: What a heck is this?!?!?


Graham: I like all the kinds I like. I want to tell you about it. I like croutons, rice, meatballs, spaghetti, and that's it. Oh, and sausage. And that's it. Oh, and pancakes, and waffles, and eggs. And fruit. And that's it!


On Valentine’s Day, we went around the table saying what we love about each other:
Dane: I love daddy because he exercises. And I love Graham because he does such a good job going poopoo in the potty!
Graham: I love myself because I watch shows.

Graham, while sitting on the potty trying to poop: I just did a poopy bubble.


Me: Boys, when we ask you to say a prayer, we don’t want you to say no. It would be really nice if you would say yes. (They always say no when we ask them to pray lately.)
Dane: We just want you to have all the blessings!


I caught Dane putting his hand in the (clean) toilet bowl water. 

Me: WHAT. ARE. YOU. DOING. 

Dane: What???????? (Acting incredibly innocent)

Me: What is on your hands??

Dane: Water!

Me. What. Is. On. Your. Hands.

Dane: What? I always do this! It’s clean!

Dane: Graham, I made this for you to say I love you!


After a (very moderate, unbiased) discussion with Dane about our current president:
Graham, out of nowhere: I hate Donald Trumpet!

And the next day: Graham: Donald Trumpet is our prophet.... He doesn’t want people to come into his white house.


Tommy: Graham, what are you thankful for?
Graham: I’m thankful for hitting!


Graham is in a very anti-authority mood lately. Everything he wants we tell him to do he wants to argue with.
Me: Say sorry!
Graham: I only say BAD sorry. (In an angry voice) SORRY! 

...

Me: Graham, say sorry!

Graham: Sor! (won't finish the word)
...
Me: Dear Heavenly Father...
Graham: Dear Heavenly NO Father...

Me: We're thankful for this day...

Graham: We're NO thankful for this day...
...
Tommy: ... in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
Graham: ... in the name of Jesus Trampoline Christ, amen. (Repeated that three times until he got in big trouble.)