Dream Life

I've got a great life. Right now, Tommy's not here, and I'm sitting on the couch, just finished a great book, eating a giant slice of angel food cake with my hands, and looking at pictures of my two boys who knock my heart out every day. Seriously. I've been trying very consciously to look at things with the big picture lately--to count my blessings and remember how wonderful we have it and how fleeting these stages are. And it really makes a difference. It helps me to not get mad when I want to and to calm down more quickly when I've lost it. I feel so deeply grateful when I reflect how lucky we are to have two boys who are healthy and growing. Full stop. I think of our friends whose son has cancer--and that's all I need to think about to help me remember that my small struggles, my moments of total frustration, are totally trivial compared to other potential trials that are out there.

I have felt like we have been in SUCH a good groove lately. Sure, there are long moments or hours, and it's so much more work, but as a whole, things have been running pretty smoothly around here. We have found our rhythm with two kids, and it's so much fun. I don't know if I've already said this on this blog, but two kids is way more FUN than one. Watching the two of them interact and laugh at each other is the best part of the day. They make each other laugh SO HARD. Dane gets the serious case of the giggles when Graham starts crawling on top of him and Graham can't stop laughing when Dane is making funny noises. I love, love, love it. We have been going out to the park a lot, since it's been in the sixties and seventies every day lately (what winter?), and it makes us all so happy and helps to pass the time so well when we can go outside so much. I need to remember this month when it's August and it's 105 every day.

This boy is a crawling machine! He is everywhere. He was so happy to crawl through this tent tunnel at Ikea.

Oh my gosh, this is so cute. I took him down the slide at our park (in my lap!) and he was absolutely terrified and couldn't stop screaming for so long afterwards. And for the next few weeks, he started screaming if we even walked over near the slides. I love how cute and scared he was. (He's already getting over it and will go on the slide now with just a few little fake cries.)

Dane learning how to throw a Frisbee.

Laughing at Daddy's feet holding him up.

I don't know if there's any activity so charming or picture-perfect as flying a kite. It's a little more stressful as the adult trying to get the kite in the air, but I love that moment of having the kite in the air so much that it's worth it.

Dane stopped napping, pretty much (the day I've dreaded for years!), but some days he still crashes and falls asleep in the afternoon. He's fallen asleep in the stroller on an afternoon walk a few times. And it's so cute.

Such a cute sight to see Graham crawling to find us in another room. Dane loves it and thinks that Graham is always chasing him. Which, he basically is.

A fun morning on the trampoline. 

Dane has started to insist on wearing one black sock and one white sock sometimes. It's fine because we somehow have actually lost one black sock and one white sock, so the two of them make up a pair now. I have given up any say in what Dane wears and my life is so much better for it. The people at the gym are always saying, "Oh, Dane, are your shoes on the wrong feet?" and I don't even notice any more.

Graham was up early one morning so I was lying on the couch while he crawled around in the family room and he eventually crawled over to the books and pulled out his favorite one and was looking through it all on his own.

Graham's ideal life would be if we would just stand and hold him in front of the windows so he could play with the blinds all. day. long.

Oh my gosh. So many hearts. I love this baby. I can't believe he is crawling up the stairs.

Best friends. They really are. 

Graham following big brother wherever he goes.

I came out from the shower yesterday and heard Dane humming like he does when he's eating. (He always hums when he's eating something he likes and it's adorable.) He had set out a picnic for him and his stuffed animals and got carrots and blueberries for them all to eat. He's never gotten food out of the fridge by himself before, so this was totally new. He had even given each of his stuffed animals their own carrot to eat.

My friend Libby wrote on her blog about how she realized that if she'd been 19 looking at her life now, she would have thought it was her dream life. And I think mine is the same way. I really do have my dream life. I probably wouldn't have ever said that without thinking about it, but look at me. I'm married to the best person ever. I have two great boys who I love and who are healthy, and we have plenty of time to have more. I am able to stay home with them, and I genuinely enjoy the challenge of staying home with them and figuring out how to do this parenting thing. I have time to exercise and read and do a little bit of work with my master's on the side to keep my foot in the door, a little bit. I'm happy, every day. It's an amazing, super privileged life--but it's also the life I would have said I was aiming for ten years ago. That makes me feel so grateful and blessed to recognize that.