pregnancy woes and deep thoughts

You know what I hate? Stuff like this:

I was at the OB a while ago reading a pregnancy magazine in the waiting room, and there was an article written by some woman talking about her super-strenuous pregnancy workouts. She ran 3+ miles a day until she was past 20 weeks, and then alternated doing other stuff after that. She was advocating staying fit while pregnant because it helped her with the delivery and helped her lose the weight really quickly after the baby was born.

I read stuff like that and all I want to say is ARE YOU KIDDING ME. Um, duh, wouldn't we ALL like to stay fit and in shape while we're pregnant. Wouldn't it be nice to gain exactly the right amount of weight so it all melts off magically after the baby is born. Wouldn't it be nice to be able to exercise regularly and to do all those regular workouts you keep up in normal, non-pregnant life. WOULDN'T THAT BE NICE.

But articles like that (and people who manage that) do NOT take into account what pregnancy is really like for the rest of us. Are you telling me that you don't have to throw up when you move too much when you're pregnant? Are you telling me that exercise doesn't literally make you vomit? Are you saying that you don't need the extra half hour of sleep in the morning when you've been waking up seventeen times a night more than you need that really great trail run you had planned? Well then GOOD FOR YOU. Send me your plaque from your half-marathon you ran when you were seven months along and I will congratulate you.

I am obviously just bitter right now, because I am sixteen weeks along with this pregnancy and still throwing up more days than not. I'd hoped it was going away, but it almost seems to be getting worse. I am feeling discouraged about how long it's been and really, really wanting to feel better.

I remember having a conversation with a friend when Dane was just a few weeks old about how every woman has something that's hard for her with having babies. Some people have trouble getting pregnant, some people have miscarriages, some people have really hard pregnancies, some people have postpartum depression, some people have colicky babies, some people have a hard time breastfeeding, some people have all of these things. Having babies is just dang HARD. I really don't understand why this is--some of these trials are some of the hardest things people have to go through. We believe that we're supposed to have babies and we're supposed to have families and we're supposed to live and grow together. But truly, there has to be a reason. And I think God makes these things hard for us because it is the most worthwhile thing we should be doing--and if it wasn't hard, we'd be taking it for granted. I know I would be. I know I still probably am. If having kids wasn't so hard, we wouldn't learn what we're supposed to learn from the experience and this life--and, there would probably be an even worse overpopulation problem since everyone would be having babies left and right.

I just want to say, I know that my experience with pregnancy is not the worst and that it's not even that hard. I may feel sick and throw up a bit, but it'll go away and I can function--and there are people who have it much worse. After this last year, I know there is much worse to go through. And we're so lucky to have a magical boy like Dane already. I have just thought a lot about this question--why are there trials associated with every step of the process with having kids?--and I think if I look at it thoroughly and think about it more and more, I learn more about life and our purpose here. And it makes these small trials I do have much more bearable.