ninja fighter paper writer

i used to spend hours upon hours on every paper i had to write. i would start weeks in advance and do all my research on time and make an outline and write it and actually REVISE, as shocking as that sounds.

i still believe in doing all of that. i didn't work as a writing fellow for two years for nothing. usually each semester i'll have one paper that makes everything else fall by the wayside. i go through all the steps and do everything right and get a really good grade. i wrote this research paper in the fall that i must have spent over 100 hours on. truly. i also used it for my grad school application writing sample, and i got in, so that was worth it, i guess.

however. in the midst of learning all of this writing and composition theory, i learned something else that's been far more valuable in the short-term: how to TOTALLY MAKE UP AN EIGHT- TO TEN-PAGE PAPER THE NIGHT BEFORE IT'S DUE. seriously--it's this revolutionary ability that i have utilized in at least one class each of the last four semesters. i spend maybe five hours on the paper, print it out, don't ever look at it again, and turn it in. and you know what? I STILL GET A GOOD GRADE.

it really makes me question ever putting in any effort on a paper again. i'm like a ninja fighter paper writer. (don't question the simile or try to figure it out. i mostly wanted to just include this awesome ninja picture.)


four years of being an english major and i've actually come away with a skill. kind of. i don't know when i'll next have to bust out an eight-page paper about the merchant of venice in the real world. but i could if i needed to. and i will be doing that tonight. booyah.